Lost
by native outsider
Summary: What happens when your best friend abandons you? What happens when you're left on your own, all alone with no one left? One-shot/drabble Reader insert. Trigger Warnings: attempted suicide, depression


p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"strongspan style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif;"span style="font-size: 15.1199998855591px; line-height: 1.5;"Let me know what you guys think, constructive /spanspan style="font-size: 15.1199998855591px; line-height: 22.6800003051758px;"criticism/spanspan style="font-size: 15.1199998855591px; line-height: 1.5;" is always /spanspan style="font-size: 15.1199998855591px; line-height: 22.6800003051758px;"appreciated/spanspan style="font-size: 15.1199998855591px; line-height: 1.5;"! /span/span/strong/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"strongspan style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif;"span style="font-size: 15.1199998855591px; line-height: 1.5;"Trigger Warning for attempted suicide and depression/span/span/strong/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"strongspan style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif;"span style="font-size: 15.1199998855591px; line-height: 1.5;"Disclaimer: I think it's pretty obvious that I don't own TASM. /span/span/strong/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"You and Peter had been together your whole lives, well ever since he'd moved into his uncles house, but that was basically the same thing. You'd always known that you could count on him, and he knew he could do the same to you. He'd been your first kiss before either of you actually knew what a kiss meant. Everything you'd done you'd always done together, you relied on him much more than he relied on you, and right now you found that really unfair./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Peter had been awol from your past five late afternoon meetings, usually he always showed on time, if not early, but lately he'd been gone for a lot more than just after school playdates, he didn't walk you to school anymore, nor back home, he no longer came over for dinner, he was missing and you knew where he was./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"He was with the perfect Gwen Stacy, Midtown's brightest, you'd always competed with Gwen over something: science, grades, honor society, 8th grade valedictorian, you'd always been runner up. At this point you'd given up. She'd won, she had the grades, she had Peter, she had everything you ever wanted./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"You looked at your reflection in the vanity mirror. You looked nothing like the persona you fronted for everyone else, your eyes were tired, the heavy bags under your eyes were more prominent, your skin was paler than usual, you looked sad./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"And why shouldn't you be? Gwen always got what she wanted so it was really only a matter of time before she ended up with Peter too. You felt like everything had been taken from you, your best friend was all you had left and now he had chosen the perfect blonde. No matter how hard you tried you could never measure up./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Gwen was pretty, and smart, she was worth something, you weren't were shit. You were worth less than the muck on the bottom of your shoe. That's how you saw yourself, you thought yourself lesser than Gwen Stacey./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"You looked over to your bathroom, all it'd take would be a few quick slashes and it'd be over. You took a deep breath and looked at yourself in the mirror again. Still sad, still hurt, tear tracks were a prominent feature on your face./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"You got up and headed over to your bathroom, you locked the door behind you. After your last episode Peter had confiscated your blades, or rather he tried to, he'd missed a couple. You took a deep breath and put the razor to your /_/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Beep Beep Beep Beep/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"You reached over trying to find your alarm to shut it off only to come in contact with nothing but air./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Beep Beep Beep Beep/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"The noise continued. You let out a heavy breath through your nose and lifted up your head and looked over to where your nightstand should be. Nothing there but the heart rate machine, a hospital, you were in a hospital. Looking past the machine you saw a very angry Peter sitting in the guest chair./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Pete-"/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Save it." He said through gritted teeth, you saw tear trails on his cheeks. "You told me that you'd never do that again. You promised me. How could you do this again (y/n)?" He'd gotten up from the chair and moved closer to you–stormed seems like a more appropriate word./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Peter I-" You knew you'd let him down, you felt terrible for putting him though this situation./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""I had to tear down your bathroom door! I found you covered in your own blood! You knew you could come to me if the urges came back, why didn't you?" This time there was more than just sadness going though you, you were angry. He'd left you! He'd chosen Little Miss Perfect over you and he was wondering why you'd attempt to take your own life? Didn't the moron know it was because you felt so alone./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Why!? You've been GONE Peter! I've been ALONE! I had no one. And you're telling me that I can go to you? That's bullshit Pete. You've been so obsessed with the attention Blondie's been giving you that you've pushed me away. I hated watching you with her, you didn't need me anymore Pete." Tears created dark stains on your hospital gown as they fell./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""You didn't want me anymore Peter. You left me, just like everyone else." Peter rushed over to you. "(y/n), I've never-"/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Yes you have Pete, you've been at her side come hell or high water. You're too busy for me Pete. I've tried to change, to be more like her, I figured maybe then you'd want to be around me more. And you still ignore me." You quickly brushed away the tears you weren't ashamed of them, you didn't feel weak for crying, but there was a time and a place for tears and crying while you were trying to have a conversation with Peter wasn't appropriate./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""I haven't been with Gwen! I mean yeah I've been hanging out with her more, but I didn't choose her over you!" He gripped your face with both his hands. "I've needed you Pete, where have you been?" You asked staring back into his deep brown eyes./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""I-I-" He paused and moved his hands, he started to walk away, that's when you reached out and grabbed hold of his hand keeping him close to you. "Trust me Peter. I know after what I just did you don't think you can, but please trust me." It was barely above a whisper but it was loud enough for him to hear./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""(y/n), you have to swear that what I'm about to tell you stays between us. Don't freak out, don't repeat what I'm about to say out loud in shock like you usually do when something freaks you out. Okay?"/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Alright." You said with a few quick short nods. He took a deep breath and looked at you./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""I'm Spider-man."/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""You're-" Both of you slammed a hand over your mouth. "Shh." He said roughly as he moved his hand away. You hit him hard with the hand that wasn't bandaged up. "How could you not tell me?" You hissed. "I haven't told anybody." He said./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Haven't told anybody what Peter?" Your mom said as she walked into the room not even asking how you were first. "That I'm saving up to buy a car." He said and you rolled your eyes, despite being the masked vigilante he was really a terrible liar./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Thankfully your mother never paid much attention to you or your friends. "That's nice, (y/n), get dressed, I've talked them into discharging you." She placed a tote bag at your feet before walking out./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""This isn't over Parker, we're talking about this later." You said harshly./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""We'll talk about this more as long as you swear to me you'll never do this" He got ahold of your bandaged up wrist. "again. Sound fair?" He asked you sighed before nodding. "And you have to give me all of the razors." He added somewhat forcibly. "Alright." You said nodding again./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"He placed a kiss at your forehead. "You're my number one okay?" He said before giving you a warm smile and walking out to give you privacy./p 


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